Take Me As I Am
by ponderer
Summary: *One Shots* They were going to win because they were different. Post "Preggers" and future episodes.
1. Preggers

TITLE: Take Me As I Am

AUTHOR: ponderer

SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.

DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.

SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I am completely and utterly obsessed with this show. It's pathetic. We're only four episodes in and I want ten more seasons. Keep in mind, this is my first piece in this fandom. I hope I got it right. Enjoy.

_--_

_Rachel_

She hears the mumble of the choir room as she leaves (storms) from its cramped space (Tina, Quinn, Mr. Shue). She's beyond angry, beyond upset, she's even beyond tears.

She can hear the foundation breaking as she finds herself in the theater, breathing out a request for a B flat scale of her star role in the Cabaret. She pretends to not feel eyes on her and sings her heart out (because honestly, it's all she has – not Glee, not Maria's song, not Finn). She sings until her voice runs dry and she's forced to take a water break.

She stumbles into the girls restroom, going about her business. One glance in the mirror of her broken reflection and she's hurled herself into a stall and she's retching her lunch (a manicured turkey on rye, sliced apple, and whole milk) and she feels horrid. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand slowly, seeing her fingers shake in exhaustion, disappointment, despair. On weak limbs, she brings herself to the sink, cups her palms full of water and brings it to her chapped mouth, splashing the liquid on her cheeks, damping her clammy forehead.

She's only gone for three minutes (that's what her wristwatch tells her when she's made it more gracefully into the theater) and her head is back this time, shoulders aligned in straight posture, hands cupped in front of her tummy.

She begins her song again, trying another key.

It's not enough, but it's okay. For now.

--

_Finn_

He thought he had feelings for Rachel. He was actually pretty sure he did. But he couldn't act on them then; when things were innocent (kiss on the stage) and pure (Push It) and magic (Don't Stop Believin'). Definitely not now, not with a baby and his mom's reaction and Quinn's hormone changes and Puck's extreme… whatever, and well, he can't handle much else.

He doesn't want to stay in Lima forever. He wants to go to school, the whole four year deal, most likely on an athletic scholarship (for his mom's benefit) and break up with Quinn over the whole long distance thing and then meet a new girl – smart, pretty, safe. (Rachel isn't safe; because she wants everything – won't stop until she gets exactly what she wants.)

Now he really needs to focus on keeping Quinn happy (and his mom). He has to grow up and not listen to Puck's menacing glare and Rachel's drama and everything else. All he really has to make him truly happy is Glee.

He can feel that breaking, too. It's just another thing to add to the list of horrible things surrounding him.

When he talked to Mr. Shue, he felt relieved, hopeful almost. The teacher was much more than that; he was a friend, a mentor, a father like figure that he hadn't found yet.

Later, when he's at home, he thinks of what he could do for his unborn child now. He reaches underneath his bed and his fingers touch a tattered blanket. He smiles in the dark, and thinks he'll give it to Quinn.

It's not a lot, but it's something.

--

_Kurt_

He's had a few rough days.

Practicing dance moves is tiring him out, but that doesn't stop him from asking Tina and Britt to stop over after school, to make a video. He's sure his dad won't be home until late, so that won't be a problem. Until the music stops (and so does his heart).

It speeds up at the mention of football (Finn in full outfit, sweaty) and then falls from his chest when he realizes he lied; again.

He makes the team. It surprises him too. It won't help to show that to the team, definitely not (because he needs to look fabulous, not disastrous) so he smiles and waves confidently; thinking of his dad, thinking of Finn, thinking of well, something other than fashion.

Which is different.

Not bad, just different.

He's hurting. He watches after school specials about kids coming out to their friends and family. He reads blogs online. He listens to late night radio shows. He watches The Real World. Then America's Next Top Model; and he's back at square one.

He tells his dad and it's easier then he thought. He wishes his mother was there too (he misses her smell the most, what he sometimes catches a whiff of when he walks past the abandoned bedroom) to help him. He realizes though that he has confidence enough to do it.

When his father retires upstairs for the night, he turns the radio on and jams to something different, something Finn suggested (Frampton, maybe) but gives up and dances the entire routine of Ok Go's "Here I Go Again".

It's definitely not Beyonce, but it has a cool beat. He could probably wear a nice suit with it, at least.

--

_Tina_

She stutters out a reply to Mr. Shue, something about taking one for the team. She feels defeated once again in her speech, hating that it makes her feel powerless and stupid. The only time she feels like something is when she's singing. It's the only time she can say (sing) without pause or havoc of her words. She feels powerful then.

When he announced it would be her solo, her heart soar. She loved Glee; how she had friends to sit with at lunch who wouldn't look down at her if it took her a few extra minutes to say, "Pass me the salt and pepper, please." They made her feel a part of something.

She tells her family about it at night, at the dinner table. She finds her confidence growing and when her mother smiles at the end of her speech, she's confused. "You didn't stutter," her mother grins and then Tina is, too.

Take one for the team is what she tells her instructor, turning down the solo. She understands how much Rachel means to the club. So what if she won't have a solo. It's not everything like it is to Rachel. Just being in the group means everything to her.

But then he announces that it's still her solo (Maria from _West Side Story_!), and Rachel storms out, she feels bad that she feels her heart smile, too.

Maybe she wanted it, after all.

--


	2. Rhodes Not Taken

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers" and 1x05 "The Rhodes Not Taken". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I couldn't help it. Maybe I'll do a bit after each episode. Should I begin at the beginning? Thoughts please!

_---_

_Finn_

He feels pretty bad about what he did to Rachel. He probably could have told her the truth; but he was desperate. And Ms. Pillsbury was practically telling him to do anything to get that music scholarship. He did.

But, he still feels pretty bad about it.

Because that kiss wasn't nothing. It was something. Like the one on the stage. That kiss was more innocent. This second kiss was laced with guilt, desperation, dark. He didn't like feeling like this.

(Mostly because he really wanted to kiss her again without worry; Quinn, the baby, Glee, the world.)

But now's not the time to think about it. He has to concentrate. For Quinn. For the baby.

Rachel? Well, she's back in Glee. And that's going to have to be enough; for now.

---

_Rachel_

She's never been one to advocate violence. She's been raised on musicals and Disney films and romantic comedies (usually with Ryan Reynolds because she secretly has a thing for brown eyes). But she's mad, angry, and definitely hurt.

(She's heartbroken.)

However, all of those movies also taught her things about being a strong, independent woman. So, she found Finn in the hallway and slapped him. She didn't feel the stinging of her palm until she had left him standing there, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. She did feel the way his face was soft as her hand touched his cheek. How if she slowed the motion down, her palm would fit just right; right there, brushing her thumb against that freckle.

She needs to concentrate. But she can't because of ancient April and Mr. Shue and Glee and how much she hates being the star right now because the drama of it all is killing her.

She wonders what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes. Living a more easy life.

(Raising a baby with dark hair and dark eyes that has a beautiful voice, and dimples, and Finn's smile.)

She can't be Quinn Fabray. But she can be Rachel Berry; star of _Cabaret_, lead singer of glee, and a friend of Finn Hudson.

---

**AN: **What is your favorite non-violent movie?


	3. Vitamin D

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks for all of the amazing reviews and feedback thus far. I'm really enjoying writing this; trying to guess the deeper sides of these characters.

Vitamin D

_---_

_Emma_

Ken proposing was the last thing Emma needed. Like the furthest on the to-do list (that included cleaning her bathroom top to bottom, as well as reorganizing her sock drawer for its weekly clean-up). It was not expected.

She was prepared as a guidance counselor. She had pamphlets for every possible scenario. Except now. She needed one for, "So you've been proposed to but you're interested in another man, who's married."

She wondered if she could find that online.

She tried not to picture Will's face. But that had also become impossible. Because any glance from him (she counted thirty for that morning alone) was worth more than a proposal from Ken.

Ken was a good man. She was sure of that. He would be good to her, accept her, love her unconditionally. Ideally, he was a perfect candidate.

But, then Will smiles.

She said yes.

She had to; Will's married. He has a baby on the way. And no matter how much she dislikes his wife, she knows Terri's right.

So much for that happily ever after. She throws out the pink pamphlet, "So you found the man of your dreams; now what."

---

_Will_

He's in love with Terri.

He's in love with Terri.

He's in love with Terri.

Right?

She's having his baby; their baby. A baby boy.

He looks at the glee kids and wonders about their futures. Will they marry their high school sweethearts? He thinks that Finn will do that with Quinn, and hates that he knows it's only because "it's the right thing".

Did he do the right thing? Marrying Terri?

He's in love with Terri.

He's in love with Terri.

…

Except, he may be in love with Emma, too.

---

_Finn_

He's exhausted. His mom's right; he's stretching himself out. He stops doing his homework.

It's still not enough.

He should concentrate on the baby; getting a scholarship; getting out of Lima.

Instead, he dreams of Rachel. Singing with Rachel. Dancing with Rachel. Kissing Rachel.

Rachel.

He wishes he had someone to really talk to that was a neutral party. Not Mr. Shue… or his crazy wife. He's just exhausted from keeping everything in. He just wants sleep. More sleep.

Sleeping meant that he could dream of going to New York, watching Rachel perform on Broadway. No Quinn. No baby. No one telling him what to do. A life out of Lima.

But, he can't sleep because he wakes up more exhausted. It's a terrible circle.

The pills help, whatever they are. But he feels horrible about it. So does Rachel, and that makes him feel better. Not a lot, but enough. They tell Mr. Shue about it. And it's lifted something off of his shoulders and he feels better.

He falls asleep that night, no dreams, and when he wakes, he's not so tired.

Telling the truth helps.

---

_Sue_

Glee was messing with her head. Destroying lives. Ostracizing the Cheerios. Ruining her vision of high school dominance.

It was time to take it down herself.

And she was going to start with maybe the hardest target; Will Schuester.

---

**AN:** What is a pamphlet you'd need to read?


	4. Takedown

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This was possibly my favorite episode thus far. Jane Lynch owned. However, this made it very hard for me to write because Sue is just so sarcastic and blunt and fantastic. I hope I do her justice. Enjoy.

Takedown

---

_Sue_

She was a champion bullfighter that never feared the bull. She was the bull, raging toward the red. She was the audience whose cheers took over the arena. She was the arena that held everyone inside, trapped in her walls. She was everything.

She was Sue Sylvester. Cheerio coach. Co-director of Glee. Feminine destructor. T-Rex of the animal kingdom. King of the jungle. Leader of the pack. Head honcho. King Arthur. Le President. Hitler. Perez Hilton.

She would not be taken down by Will Schuester; world's nice guy. The zit. The ant beneath her big toe. The spider climbing her walls, squeezed in her fingertips. The breakfast snack crumbling over her lips. The anti-Sue Sylvester.

She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she loved the challenge. It was what she loved about the Cheerios (besides the fear she could bring to her students). Competition. She craved it. She insulted her TV screen daily for being inanimate, for judging her. She hated that it couldn't talk back (technology is useless).

She didn't listen to much music. Wasn't a huge fan. But she found that song that she knew the black girl would like and the other minority rejects would do out of fear.

It was more dreadful than she expected.

But the end results? Perfect.

(Except Quinn Fabray – leader of the Cheerios, the young Sue Sylvester – was knocked up. By perhaps the dumbest male Sue had encountered in years – perhaps a young Will Schuester – and she had no control whatsoever. She loved control.)

She doesn't like to dote on things she can't change without a fight. She hates looking bad. She despises students. She wants to throw Will Schuester out of her third story apartment window. She wants to slowly take each Glee club kid and make them weep like the babies they are.

But, she has a show to put on; and that comes first for now.

And that's how Sue sees it.

---

_Will_

He had never been so stressed out before; not in high school with the sectionals every year, not in college when he had three papers due during finals week and a very demanding Terri at his hips, not when they were planning their marriage, and especially not when they were finding ways to buy a home on a limited budget. This was hell.

He wanted to be a teacher for as long as he could remember. He loved Spanish and seeing how students learned over time, and seeing the end result. He loved singing with the kids in Glee because it brought him back to his own Glee memories. He felt at home with them in that choir room. It was peace.

Not the hell that it became when Sue Sylvester rocked the boat, tipped it over, and spit on it for more affect.

He should put more blame on his wife (because really, it was mostly her fault from the beginning) but she was pregnant with his child and…

Why didn't he get to go to the doctor's with her? Why hadn't he felt his son kick?

He was looking forward to that, while becoming a father. Wasn't that a huge part of the process?

Again, he was very stressed.

The students were taking it rather well. He knew (hoped) that in the end, their allegiance would be with him. And it was, really. But he could sense their own stress building and that was the last thing he wanted to do. So, he usually bit his tongue.

Except that day in the auditorium.

He hated arguing. But, it was to better the Glee club. For the students. It was for them.

And he had to fight for what he wanted. No matter the cost.

He'd make an appointment to see the OBGYN the next day.

---

_Quinn_

She hated that God was punishing her in the worst of ways. She could depend on Finn; (but really, how much longer? What if the baby was tan, and not pale?) she knew she could. She couldn't depend on Puck. Not if she wanted to stay in this small town and become just like her mother (ending up pregnant mere months before her own marriage).

She wanted out. She wanted to be better.

She had faith in God and His plan.

But this? Pregnant at sixteen, with a boy that wasn't her boyfriend?

Especially since her boyfriend (and pretend baby daddy) was obviously attracted to the biggest loser on the planet. She didn't understand that at all.

(Except Rachel Berry was honestly trying to help her. Maybe it was more of a reason to please Finn, but still, it was helping her, too. So how bad could Man Hands really be?)

She was popular, dating the quarterback, screwed and knocked up by the running back, and head cheerleader. She was loyal to God.

So why was he punishing her?

Oh yeah, because she had sex.

(But, even though she was drunk and it hurt and it wasn't with her boyfriend, it was with Puck; surprisingly gentle hands ghosted on her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, tender kisses that were never ending, and looks that made her melt even further into the mattress.)

Her parents are going to kill her. The school will dismiss her, like another reject. She'll be kicked off the Cheerios.

But, Rachel Berry is right. All she has is the Glee club.

God's plan was warped.

---

_Finn_

A baby girl. He was going to be a dad to a little girl.

He didn't get girls (obviously). He messed up with Rachel; he was sure of that. But he never messed up with his mom and the only true mistake he made with Quinn was knocking her up – and he didn't even score. But a baby girl? No, he didn't want to mess that up.

But Quinn wanted to give it away. Their little baby girl. (Future names: Pear, Tomato, and Rain – no, Drizzle!) He was fully committed to any decision she had. He just didn't think that this is what she'd choose.

Not that she wasn't right. They weren't ready for a baby. He wasn't. Not if he couldn't choose what type of cereal to have in the morning. Not when he couldn't rightfully break up with Quinn and just be with Rachel already.

But, when he was sleeping during Spanish, he could imagine lots of pink and ballerina slippers and pink dresses and teddy bears and _Daddy_.

It was Quinn's decision. He just hoped she'd change her mind.

---

**AN:** I don't have anything to ask. You ask me.


	5. The Mash Up

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I am insanely upset about the three week break we will be having until the next episode. In the mean time, I may try my hand at a longer, one-shot, naturally Finn/Rachel. So, let me know what you think about that, please.

The Mash-Up

---

_Emma_

Her cousin's wedding dress isn't exactly her dress of choice (but who's she kidding, neither is Ken).

It was perfect when she was younger, being obsessed with Princess Di and her huge puffy sleeves and the long train that could easily strangle half of the wedding guests. She also dreamed of having a small ceremony, close family and friends to witness one of the biggest moments of her life. She imagined a man (handsome, clean, and able to talk about deep world issues) and he would be absolutely in love with her, the only woman in his eyes – the only man in hers.

She's getting married, to Ken, in Hawaii miles away from anyone she knows and loves in a horrible dress. She can't stand the idea of moving in with him, let alone kissing him to complete the ceremony.

The song choice for the wedding song was just another brick crumbling over the fireplace.

And then there was the dance with Will. She could have easily pretended to be walking down the aisle to him – in that perfect gown with elbow length gloves and a small, modest tiara, and saying "I do" without fear and in view of at least fifty people.

"_They don't fit_,_" _he said to her, in her office. She couldn't breathe, for fear of anything but the appropriate response. She just wanted – no, needed a reason out of this. He would be the one to give it to her.

"_They're both great."_

They were; would be better than great if they were truly together, without Terri and the unborn baby boy that made his eyes light up.

She walked down the hallway twice for Will; would she ever be able to walk down the aisle to him?

Then she sees a silver wedding band on his finger and she gulps back her honest response. Instead, she says, "_Thanks… for the dance lessons."_

But, from the way he looked at her as he left the office, she knew he understood, _"Thanks for the dance."_

---

_Will_

He could remember when he first saw Terri walk down the aisle towards him not that many years ago. She was wearing a rather expensive dress and he was tired of arguing with her over the cost

"_It's my wedding, Will. I'm the princess."_

Yes, she had been. Then.

Now, he could imagine that it could have been different. If maybe Terri wasn't in the picture, and that she wasn't pregnant, and that Ken wasn't in love with Emma and that maybe, just maybe, he could have gotten to Emma first.

He thinks that they could have been happy together. Truly happy. Sure, she had issues about cleanliness, but he really thinks he could have changed that. It would have taken time, but he's patient.

(He's patient enough to know that maybe this won't all happen.)

However, the hurt inside his chest is growing at an alarming rate. He hides it well, he hopes. But then Ken corners him about the football team vs. Glee and he knows he has to put a stop to… some things.

But then he sees her in the second wedding dress and for a moment, he sees that vision. And the dance… and her voice!

"_Thanks… for the dance lessons,"_ she'd said.

As he left the office, he pretends he heard differently.

And that he could hear her muffled cries echoing through the halls.

---

_Puck_

He was like Finn in ways; he wanted to be the all around good guy. He wanted the head title of a team, the prettiest girl on his arm, and the respect of everyone in the school.

And with all of the drama lately, his life was more like a reality show then any high school show he'd ever seen with his little sister.

(Not that he liked them, or anything. Just… nothing else was on.)

Then he had that dream about Rachel and she was good, pure, and Jewish. She was the perfect package. Sure, she wasn't as hot as Quinn and probably wouldn't let him get past second base, but she'd do. She would probably be nicer than Quinn too.

(Not that he thought Rachel wasn't nuts, because she was.)

He hated that he liked Quinn. Especially because it went against the dude code. He deserved Finn breaking his face. But for now, the baby was still under wraps and he wouldn't be on _Jerry Springer _for awhile. Finn was his best friend; they protected each other… like brothers.

(Not that brothers slept with each other's girls.)

So, since that whole weird dream of Rachel climbing into his window in the white nightgown, he decided to change. To try it out. He even quit the football team. Which was probably a really stupid mistake because he knew it'd be months before Rachel would have sex with him. Especially because she was in love with Finn.

(Not that he cared.)

But he feels really good when he's singing. And he's secretly kept Neil Diamond albums underneath his bed for years. He likes how everyone in the club looks up to him, like he's actually cool beyond the whole badass vibe. He likes that. The whole douche bag game he's been playing lately is messing with his head. And Rachel's a really good kisser and he decides if he can't have Quinn, he'll take Rachel.

(Not that he really likes her or anything. Hell no.)

She breaks up with him and he feels a twinge of something in his gut. He doesn't like it and he feels the walls she helped break down begin to build again. It's easier this way. It's better.

(Not that he cares.)

---

_Rachel_

She couldn't help but imagine it was Finn with her in the bedroom, rolling around on her bed, laying open kisses on her throat and neckline. If she closed her eyes tightly and concentrated, she could almost pretend that Puck's muscles were smaller, longer limbs, minty breath. But she opens her eyes mid kiss and it's Puck that's there.

And it's really not that horrible.

She doesn't have to worry about getting hit by a slushie by him and Glee has been surprisingly healthy and she likes the idea of having a boyfriend. Someone to talk to. Someone to hold her hand in the hallways.

But it's not enough. And Rachel Berry wants it all. She wants too much.

She decides to break it off with Puck because it's getting harder to pretend he's someone else and that she's someone else and the whole charade is becoming too much. She knows Puck will be upset (more about her being Jewish or something) but she knows it's for the best.

Because she's also really intuitive. She's seen how he looks at Quinn. She thinks that will be her next project.

(Not that she wants Quinn and Finn to break up. But, if it would mean anything, she did see Quinn looking back. And maybe that's something.)

If only Finn looked at her that way.

---

_Finn_

He didn't know much, but he knew the following five things:

He would have to quit Glee to become cool again with the football team.

Quinn was pregnant with their hot-tub baby, a girl, whom they were probably going to give away.

He was beginning to really hate football.

He hated purple slushies.

He looked at Rachel like Puck did. And he didn't like it one bit.


	6. Wheels

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hiatus is finally over! Sorry it took me so long to update for "Wheels" but I came down with strep throat and then went to visit my best friend to see Wolfmother. So… yeah, here is my newest installment. Watch out for the next part after "Ballads" premiers tonight.

Wheels

--

_Artie_

He was used to being different. It was only since he was eight was he stuck in a wheelchair. Before that, he could walk. He could run. He was independent. He was still different though. He wore suspenders and a belt, with an argyle sweater tucked into his pleated jeans. He wore thick framed glasses that had thick lenses. He didn't have friends.

The only thing that had ever made him feel a part of something was music. He was quite proud of his music selection, constantly on the internet listening to search engine suggestions. He'd have his parents buy him CDs as they came out in stores. And one year, his parents bought him a guitar for Christmas; right before his accident.

His first song he ever played was Billy Idol. He loved the rocker's edge. He poured over his music discography, learning to play as much as he could and the rest he'd learned by repetition.

Then the accident happened. His mom was fine. He was paralyzed. He was going to be trapped in his wheelchair for the rest of his life.

But, he still had his music. He still had his guitar.

So he played on, letting Billy's voice echo through his headphones as he went to physical therapy sessions and while his dad changed the house to be more equipped for his disability. He entered high school with a light heart. He was able to start fresh. He joined Glee Club, hoping to exercise his musical side. And it was there that he finally met friends.

In particular, Tina. Tina was different too. She spoke with a stutter, which he only remembered when someone mentioned it. It never mattered to him, mostly because no one really saw him in a wheelchair anymore.

And she was the first one to really make him feel like there was something more to him than just the chair; just the music. He was Artie; a potential love interest. He was finally being noticed in a positive way.

But, like the car crash, everything came to a halt when Tina confessed to just being shy. She could be normal; was normal. She no longer had anything holding her down. He was still in his wheelchair.

And if Billy taught him anything, it was to not let anyone let him down.

--

_Kurt_

He hit the high F and it was like fireworks. He rushed to his dad's auto shop in high spirits, his newest Marc Jacob's shoes echoing through the garage. Then he saw the look on his dad's face and the whole day's work just sunk through the deep hole in his heart.

_Fag._

He hated that word; how used he was to hearing it. He hated how it affected his dad, possibly the strongest man he'd ever met, how small he seemed that day. How just one word could bring him to be scared; to not know what to do, how to fix things. His dad was right though, he was a Hummel – a proud one at that. He wasn't ashamed of himself, of what he was, of how he felt. He embraced it.

But seeing his dad like that…

As much as his dad took care of him, it was his turn to return the favor.

--

_Sue_

Jean was her older sister. It was a backwards relationship because she took care of Jean more so, but she never though it to be a hassle – not like teaching Shue a much needed lesson or keeping the Cheerios in their rightful place on the lower end of the spectrum where they belonged. No, this relationship was different.

They were only a few years apart and it took her a few years to realize how different her sister Jean was. How she didn't go to the same school or have as many friends. How her tastes were different and her personality was off. It didn't make her love her sister less – it made her appreciate her more.

She learned to treat her the same way. She'd annoy her when she was doing homework or on the phone because that's what little sisters did. She'd teach her about cheerleading, excited to demonstrate what she was learning after school to get her sister's attention.

When their parents died years later, she had to take full responsibility for Jean. It wasn't a tough decision, nor was it a hassle. She was family and she was loved and cared for. If anything, she wished she could no more, anything to make Jean feel more comfortable in the world.

And making her feel normal was the best thing she could come up with. And while doing so, it was just an added bonus to psyche out Will Schuester.

--

_Quinn_

She had to stay in control of her relationship with Finn because that's all she could really control. She couldn't control her body and how the baby was affecting her. She couldn't control her feelings. She couldn't control Puck and the way her belly jumped when he approached (she vows that it's just the baby and her gag reflex).

Finn finding a job makes sense. She can control that. So she enforces it, embraces it. He looks so crestfallen when he continues to report his numerous rejections and she knows she should be more sympathetic. She knows she could buck up and get a job too, even though it'd only be for a few months.

And he's really trying – she knows that. And she loves him for that. He'll make a great father one day, she's sure of it. She just wishes it was his kid she was carrying.

Puck is something else. Puck is… Puck. She hates how together he appears to be, how she could probably trust him. He's almost reliable. He's almost perfect.

She wants him to be everything he's not, but she wants him as he is.

She's not stupid. She sees how Finn looks at Rachel. It's the same way she Puck looks at her. And her stomach. And she's ashamed because Finn at least looks guilty when she catches him. She thinks she should tell him so he could be happy and have a more normal life.

But the days are moving and she's getting bigger and Puck's getting nicer and it's becoming to much to handle.

So she controls and yells. It's just easier that way.

---

**AN:** What makes you different?


	7. Ballad

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm a horrible person for delaying two weeks, on the eve of the next to last episode for another long, extended hiatus. Forgive me and my lazy ass. I hate not finishing things, and that is currently the only reason why I'm continuing writing this. So, please, review! Help keep me interested in this story!

Also, this chapter is a tad different.

Okay, now, enjoy.

Ballad

--

_Puck_

The truth was out of his mouth before he could stop the word vomit. The girl across from him, wide eyed and bushy tailed with that gay kid, was shocked. He was used to that expression from girls, mostly followed by a slap on the cheek (of if he was honest, it could also lead to some fun that would make Berry blush to the roots of her hair). But with this chick, he wasn't so sure what response would come out of her mouth. And for once, he was nervous, waiting. His words floating in the empty choir room over her erratic breathing (or was it his?)

Then she does open her mouth and it's not her usual loud Aretha Franklin style. It's a quiet, determined Martin Luther King – something he can't quite ignore. He's powerless. He wants to fight, be defiant, but she has that gleam in her eye too. He's lost the battle.

He lowers his head in defeat, remorse, loyalty as the royal highness leaves her court.

--

_Rachel_

She loves the beauty of his smile. How the freckles on his cheeks hide in the creases of skin as his lips broaden, showing bright white teeth. Deep brown eyes, almost black, twinkle too in the right light (as he hovers above her in an empty auditorium).

But, right now, he's with a very pregnant girlfriend and she's on her own.

It was only a matter of time before she moved on. The choir teacher wasn't exactly practical, with how much she couldn't stand him or his teaching methods, but the way his eyes looked at her while they sang, it was almost the same electrical shock she got with another singing partner. It was enough to keep her broken heart sated.

She could pretend that they could have a happily ever after. They could move to New York and be on Broadway. He might be a bit pushy about starting a family, because of his age senior to hers, but he would be patient (thanks to being a teacher in a high school setting) and he would wait for her to be ready.

The house would be spotless, the smell of freshly baked oatmeal cookies coming from the kitchen and pine from the bathroom. The space would be full of clean lines and peaceful colors to keep the mood safe.

They would fight over small, stupid things. Their agents. Their parents. Hiring a nanny.

At the end of the day, she couldn't see him in her bed, in her arms. His eyes were too blue, his hair too curly. Too short of a build. She wanted to melt into his embrace, not be an equal in size.

She wanted someone else.

But this rejection, knowing that a relationship couldn't possibly build in this teacher-student scenario, was easier to take.

--

_Kurt_

He longed for his touch like he longed for his mother. Maybe not the same way exactly, but it was like how it was unattainable. They would never happen for him; not in the right way.

It was hard enough to be gay in high school, dressing the way he did, acting out, singing with Glee… stressing about his dad. It was a lot. Add in a broken heart and really, that was the whole high school experience in a few short months.

--

_Quinn_

She was kicked out. She was no longer Daddy's Little Girl. She was moving in with the non-father of her baby. She was a reject, a Lima loser.

She was nothing now.

--

**AN:** Yeah, so this was a bit darker, don't ya think?


	8. Hairography

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Again, I'm sorry for the delay in these past two chapters. Please take the time to review because it is that extra something that motivates me to write more.

Also, this is a different way to approach my story. Enjoy!

Hairography

--

**Distraction**: _n_ that which amuses, entertains, or diverts

_Finn_

The first time he was distracted from Quinn was while they were kissing and the TV was still a soft glow in his living room and the sports channel was on and he saw that Ohio State had won against Michigan. It was easy enough to pay attention to the screen, running quick plays from the game to show how the Buckeyes had overpowered the Wolverines; especially since Quinn pecked him with her lips, not budging her mouth open.

The second time he was distracted from Quinn was when he joined Glee. And he met Rachel and all of her crazy. As time went by though, it was the crazy that he found himself attracted to. (Not to mention her short skirts and hair that smelled like strawberries.)

The third time he was distracted from Quinn was when Rachel dressed… not like herself. More like those models he saw on that show with Tyra Banks. Everything was different, even the way she spoke was alluding something more than her usual brash tone. It was… sensual. Poetic. So he couldn't help but be distracted by the way her mouth moved to form the words. Which was distracting because then he could barely hear her over the screaming in his brain to kiss her, which was another distraction because he had class to get to (not to mention his very pregnant girlfriend).

"Friday night?" he heard her say and he nodded, accepted, proceeded because it wasn't like he could say no, not when she was looking at him like that.

She walked away, an extra movement to her hips showcasing the back of her thighs and he imagined something he shouldn't be and he was distracted again when he turned around and met face to face with said pregnant girlfriend.

When Friday came, his palms sweaty like a football game, he appeared at her front door promptly. She answered, calmly, sweetly (again dressed like one of those models) and she ushered him upstairs and he was once again distracted by the sway of her hips, revealing peaks up her jean skirt to see pieces of red cotton. He tried to distract himself with something else, anything else, but all he saw was red and thinking of how he could get to see it again.

But then she was dressed up like that chick from _Grease_ and she was singing and moving around her bedroom and he became distracted by reality. How this wasn't Rachel and he shouldn't have been there, thinking those things (not to mention how easy he could probably see those red underwear again).

"Rachel, I can't do this…" he began and she looked so sad, so disappointed. Not at him, but at herself. And he felt like he was disappointing her too, because he shouldn't have said yes. He shouldn't have been so distracted.

"I thought you would like this," she whispered. He never liked it when Quinn cried, unsure of how to comfort her, and it would be ten times worse for Rachel, he just knew. Because there was no ounce of comfort he could give her.

"I like the way you usually dress." And it was completely true. He liked the innocent short skirts and knee socks and loafer shoes and sweaters his grandma wore. Because she was confident. Independent. Strong-willed. Beautiful. But he wasn't distracted enough to know he couldn't tell her those things; it would only make things worse. So, instead, he said, "I have to go."

--

**AN: **What distracts you?


	9. Mattress

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Holy!Glee Batman! That episode was a tad intense, I'd say! So, because of that, this piece will not be sugar coated and happy. I've decided to dedicate the whole section entirely to the one and only Will Schuester. He definitely earned some props (and a nod to Mathew Morrison for wonderful acting). So, Mr. Schue, this is for you.

And, a side note to those who are reviewing, reading, favoriting, alerting to and so forth: thank you. I know that it appears if a story doesn't involve the delicious pairing of Puck and Rachel, it doesn't get much publicity. However, what I've tried to do with this is to only take what the characters give me on the screen. Normally, I am a hardcore Finchel. I won't lie. But, please give those other stories a chance too, because you never know – you could switch sides.

So that was my pitch and I'm sticking to it. And now, I present:

Mattress

--

"_Do you remember that moment, Will? When we said we'd love each other no matter what happened?"_

_i._

It was just a normal day at McKinley High; or as normal as it could have been, sans the interruption of Sue Sylvester. But, it was only lunch time. Will raised an eyebrow to Emma and Ken, asking to join their table.

And so began the usual round of delight from Ken's face when mentioning their upcoming wedding. Will tried hard to stay positive, because these two were his closest colleagues and allies. And he was happy for them; truly. They deserved to be in a healthy, stable relationship. Like the one he had with Terri.

"… so the wedding isn't in Hawaii anymore because I couldn't bring my own fruit," Emma said, interrupting Will's thoughts on his unborn baby girl.

"And it's next Saturday, so I gotta lose at least twenty pounds," Ken added. Will looked up momentarily from his sandwich.

"But, that's sectionals."

He was torn. Emma was easily his best friend, Ken in his top ten (nevermind the jealously issues). So, he obviously wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. But that also meant, as he continued his thoughts, that Emma wouldn't be Glee's number one cheerleader.

Her big eyes were full of woe and disappointment. "I completely forgot," she replied.

_ii._

"Figgins, what is this about Glee not being able to have their photo in the yearbook? The kids deserve it!" Will began, hands on his hips. Low and behold, Sue wasn't far behind him, making his skin crawl.

The principal muttered and exclaimed his own reasoning, exploiting numbers for advertisement ads when Rachel stormed in, fired up. Something about her two gay dads and Will knew it wouldn't end in their favor if he let her continue.

"Don't worry Rach, I've got this covered." She looked so relieved as she left the office that he knew he had to find a way to fix things.

Later, ripping the check from his booklet and handing it over, he felt unsure. "Can you not cash this until Thursday?" Things were still tight at home, even after selling the Blue Bomber II, and with Terri giving her opposing views, he'd spent the money anyway. With a nod to Figgins, Will left. This was a necessary step to get his kids proud of their hard work; even if they didn't see it yet.

_iii._

He only saw red. Seeing his image in the mirror, the bump in front of his stomach, remembering how his wife wouldn't let him rest his head on her bulge to hear the heartbeat or to feel his baby girl kick. Not going to the doctors. Not getting sick in the morning. The usual mood swings. And here he thought it was because she was one of those lucky pregnant women.

"Lift up your shirt," he demanded once again.

"Please," is her only plea but it's too late. He lifted up her pink top, seeing the same material as in his hand. His forehead on hers, he immediately wanted to break down into tears of frustration. But red is the first thing he saw. He wretched himself away from the woman he thought he knew, ripping their "baby" from her stomach as she gasped.

He knew he needed to leave their apartment before he did something he'd regret. He was afraid he was too tense to drive, but he couldn't just call anyone either. Grabbing his keys and coat, he left, hearing Terri's sobs.

But that wasn't enough; he wanted to hear his baby girl's sobs. And he never would.

_iv._

Disqualified? Because the kids decided to take a stand and do something great on their own, like starring in a commercial. He was so proud of them, and so disappointed. Naturally it would have been Sue that would have freaked out. And no matter what he did or tried, it wouldn't matter.

All of that hard work was wasted because the kids took a chance on themselves. How could he punish that?

"We're sorry, Mr. Schue," Rachel murmured, as the rest look on at him in despair.

"How are we going to do this without you?" they asked.

"If I wasn't doing my job correctly, you wouldn't be able to," is his simple reply. He told them to leave, to get their yearbook picture taken.

As he walked the halls, gravitating towards the choir room, he watched through the window, longing to be in there with them. Longing for a child. A wife. A best friend.

But, he smiled as he walked away. And knowing that the kids really had a chance of winning sectionals, even without him, was enough.

Besides, he wasn't sure he could handle anything another disappointment.

--

**AN:** With only one episode left before the extra long hiatus, what do you plan on doing on Wednesday nights?


	10. Sectionals

TITLE: Take Me As I Am  
AUTHOR: ponderer  
SUMMARY: They were going to win because they were different.  
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.  
SPOILERS: Post 1x04 "Preggers". Title comes from Au Revoir Simone's song, "Take Me As I Am".  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Seriously, what am I going to do without Glee until April? I'm sure most of you thought of the same thing.

Honestly, this episode was amazing on so many episodes. The music killed me. Cory's acting killed me. Schue's tears killed me. Basically, it all killed me. So, I'm going to try my best and do right with what the brilliant Ryan Murphy gives us every week.

Also, I'd like to thank everyone that has been reviewing. We Gleeks need to stick together, because this hiatus is going to suck. Until then, I give you:

Sectionals

--

_Don't Stop Believin' - Artie_

Artie was one of those guys that had eternal optimism. Even though from the waist down he was forever paralyzed, he couldn't help but see the upside. He would never complain about how his feet hurt from standing after a long day at work. He would always have a place to sit. The list was endless.

But, when Mercedes spilled the beans about Puck being the father of Quinn's unborn child, he felt his optimism drop. Because if Finn found out the truth, it would most likely be over for sectionals. And then Glee would cease to exist. And Artie didn't want to think about what would happen after that point.

So, he stayed upbeat. He smiled. He laughed. He sang his heart out. He thought of Finn and how hurt he would be and how it would be the right thing to clue him in, but held his tongue. It was better this way; give them all something to hope for.

--

_Defying Gravity – Kurt_

He knew that once Rachel found out about the baby drama, it would be over for the whole group. Whatever friendship they all gained with one another would diminish. Kurt didn't want Finn to get hurt; the complete opposite actually. He longed for Finn so much it hurt.

But, his number one priority was the whole team. And if that meant keeping the truth from Finn for just a bit longer, he would. That also added a new job of keeping Rachel quiet, and so far, no one had succeeded in that task.

It could be harder than winning sectionals.

_--_

_And I Am Telling You – Mercedes_

Big mouthed Mercedes knew she did wrong by Finn. And by Quinn and Puck. And the whole group. She exposed the secret that wasn't hers to tell. And with that weight heavy on her shoulders, she blew up when her chance at having a ballad for sectionals was taken from her, too.

She wouldn't stand for that; that was for damn sure. She was better than that. She didn't watch _Dreamgirls_ seven times straight for nothing.

And it felt good to see everyone staring at her while she sang. The words flowed out of her in a beautiful melody and it was the best feeling. She wanted to repeat the performance until it became boring (although it would never fall off her radar).

Rachel hugged her, saying the job was hers.

Mercedes felt relief, joy, elation, and guilt. But she swallowed, smiled, and took a deep breath. This was her moment to shine; for a good reason.

_--_

_True Colors – Tina_

She knew that this was her big chance of being in front of a large group. She didn't bother stuttering anymore. Although Artie didn't rat her out, Tina chose to tell everyone instead. And it felt amazing to be free of that secret, once and for all.

And when Artie smiled at her, shyly pushing his glasses up his nose, she felt even better.

_--_

_Smile (Charlie Chaplin) – Finn_

Mr. Schuester was right again, Finn knew that. He swallowed back his fear and frustration and pain and sucked it up. He sought out the nearest computer and searched for free lyrics to the Rolling Stones song that was playing continuously throughout his brain, while his foot tapped nervously on the tiled floor of the computer lab.

When he destroyed the Cheerio's copier, he felt only an ounce better about the whole situation. He tried to block it all out, humming a tune to himself to keep his mind occupied elsewhere. And it worked while he drove too.

Then he got to the parking lot and saw how red his eyes were and how his head hurt and his hand was bruised from beating the crap out of Puck's face. Then he thought of Rachel and how upset she was when she told him the truth; how broken she looked – as if she could anticipate how angry he was to become. And she didn't try to stop him when he rushed back into the choir room. And how she didn't try and follow him when he left.

How he owed her so much for her honesty, her bravery, her loyalty.

He owed her this, at least.

So, smiling, thinking of her own, he walked into the green room holding up their sheet music for a sure winning song.

_--_

_Don't Rain on My Parade – Rachel_

She was a born star, Rachel was always sure of that. She would make it big on Broadway, become the next Barbra Streisand or Bette Midler, and live happily in New York among a large group of friends and adoring fans.

And winning Sectionals was a step closer to her dream.

What hindered her was her growing love for Finn. And her new friends in Glee. They were more important than her dream right now.

So, she did the right thing by telling him the truth, even when it wasn't her place. And yes, she didn't do it all for the right reasons, but someone had to do it. She wouldn't stand idly by and watch him take care of a child that wasn't his – unless after, he still wanted to. She just knew he needed to understand he had a choice.

Then he quit, quit all of them, leaving them in a dead end. And it was just another heartbreak on her list, but she understood. That was what hurt the most.

But, Finn wasn't the type to sit and not help. It wasn't in his nature. He was a knight, the leader, her Danny Zuko. He came back, telling her she was the star, to not mess it up. And then he smiled, a real Finn Hudson smile.

When she sang on the stage, it was a dream come true. Hundreds of eyes were on her and she was singing with no hint of coming mistake or nerves. Finn was there. When she closed her eyes, she could feel his presence, his smile, his touch – his kiss.

They were going to make it. She could feel it in her bones.

_--_

_No Air – Will & Emma_

There was a pull to Emma that Will could never deny. While he was so proud of the kids for their hard work, for doing everything on their own, made his heart swell so much he thought he would burst, it still felt like it was breaking. He could practically feel Emma slipping away. His mind wasn't completely on the performance in front of him.

So he ran. As if in slow motion, the song keying in his mind as he raced through the halls to her office. Finding it empty, he felt the silence. It was too loud.

But, she wasn't gone. She was right there, holding a box full of her photo frames and guidance books and flowers. And she was perfect and patient and kind and suddenly he was right in front of her, guiding his mouth to hers.

And finally, he could feel like he could breathe again.


End file.
